wanna go halves on a baby?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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