we're chasing vodka with high fives
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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