The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
