We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
