just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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