at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
