if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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