You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
