Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
i think im in europe. pls send help
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize