:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
