This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You need Xanax blowdarts
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
