My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Randomize
