It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
