just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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