After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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