I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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