eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
