Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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