i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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