Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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