No period for spring break; use this wisely.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I think people are normalizing furries
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
