Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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