my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
