Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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