end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My breasts were aching with rage.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I need a beard to bite.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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