Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
