Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
