Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
