We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You made out with two different species that night
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
