If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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