lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize
