May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize