Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
