what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
