We're facebook friends in real life
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
