I want to walk on stilts...naked
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
