Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
