I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
tell me about the eggs
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize