goodnight i made you a song goodbye
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
