You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
