We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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