And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
