these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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