come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
