Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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