whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
