well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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