You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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