i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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