you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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