Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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