I'm so fucking centered right now
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
