I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
