people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
