Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize