I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
