I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
