How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The uberlube is also flammable
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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