I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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